50 ways to be really Rude & Annoying

50 WAYS TO BE REALLY RUDE & ANNOYING

1. Flash your high-beams to a fast on-coming car and see if they hit the breaks.

2. Take a really long time making your selections at a Bakery or Deli when there’s heaps of people waiting.

3. Insist on driving with the windows down, whatever the weather.

4. Take forever getting into your car and driving off when you know someone is waiting for your parking space.

5. Whistle the Simpsons theme song and when you’re nearly done announce, ‘No wait, I messed it up’, and repeat.

6. Chew loudly with your mouth open.

7. Place your rubbish bin for collection on your neighbours lawn or even better place your rubbish in your neighbours bin.

8. Crack your knuckles for an extended period of time.

9. Insist that you’re not having a cappuccino today because you’re on a diet and order a skinny iced chocolate with extra whipped cream instead.

10. Link all of your co-workers paperclips together while they are at lunch.

11. Leave the printer, fax machine, toilet, tissue box with no paper.

12. Leave the stapler with no staples.

13. Change your co-workers desktop computer image to something embarrassing/dirty.

14. Sneeze really, really loudly. Do this repeatedly for extra affect.

15. Insist to your partner that you don’t want popcorn or a drink when going into the movies, then change your mind half way through and ask them to go and get you some.

16. Take an excited/important call during the dramatic scene of a movie.

17. Ask the waitress the ingredients of nearly every dish on the menu and then just settle for a salad.

18. When a friend is ordering a steak ‘Well Done’, order yours ‘Blue’.

19. Fill up a your glass with wine take a few gulps, fill again, don’t offer any to anyone else and polish off the bottle.

20. When people are talking to you, stare deeply into their eyes.

21. Stand at the very front of an elevator and refuse to move out of the way for other people.

22. Walk up the ‘wrong’ side of a stair case and refuse to move our of the way for other people.

23. Pay for something that costs $10 with only 5c & 10c coins and insist on counting it out as you go.

24. Stand in the middle of an escalator, Not letting people pass.

25. Pretend you are deaf.

26. Stand at the register at McDonalds, and continue to make up your mind for another 3-5 minutes while everyone waits behind you.

27. Pretend you are br…king (static noise)… up..; while ordering your meal at the drive thru.

28. Ask for a ‘freshly cooked’ burger with no pickles, sauce or MSG when McDonalds is really busy.

29. Play loud music with all the windows open very late on a Monday night.

30. Email lots and lots of useless pictures, chain letters, and information to everyone in your address book.

31. Make up fake parking tickets and place them on all the cars in your neighbourhood/workplace.

32. Go to a bar and ask if they have any non-alcoholic wine.

33. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

34. When telling a story, occasionally ‘drift off’ as though you are going into a stare/daydream.

35. When asked for cracked pepper, offer an enthusiastic ‘YES!’ and allow them to crack the pepper for a while. When they go to stop, insist they keep cracking, repeat as much as you can handle.

36. Insist on putting Tomato Sauce (Ketchup) on EVERYTHING.

37. Book a table at a restaurant for 30 people and only show up with a party of 5.

38. When greeted flatly by a supermarket employee, launch into a dramatic Monologue as to how annoying it is to have staff work for you who are so very unenthusiastic.

39. Make a phone call on the train or bus to your closest friend telling them how ‘hot and heavy’ you and your partner were last night. Include as many nasty details as you dare.

40. When a ‘Hi, how are you?’ is ignored by a rude person, say VERY loudly ‘THAT’S GOOD, I’M FINE THANKS.’

41. Go into a shoe shop and try on 15-20 pairs insisting you can’t find the right ‘look’. Buy nothing.

42. Walk into a Travel Agent and request several brochures for different places around the world. When asked when you are planning to travel, say ‘Oh no, I’m not going anywhere, I just want to start my own Travel Agency on a Budget’.

43. When on a Train/Bus and the person next to you takes a mobile phone call, start coughing repeatedly and very loudly, for an extended period of time.

44. Watch a movie with your friends you’ve already seen, and insist of filling them in on all the cool parts, just before they happen in the movie.

45. Go to a Yoga class wearing a hot pink eighties G-string leotard and bright yellow tights. Headbands and leg warmers are optional.

46. Never, ever blow your nose, always sniffle. Loudly if possible.

45. Chew your pen lids until they are about to be chewed off.

46. Gulp very loudly when drinking.

47. Leave your dog’s crap on your neighbours lawn.

48. Speak only in a fake Scottish, Irish, English or American accent and when questioned about it pretend that you don’t know what they’re talking about.

49. Instead of asking polite conversation questions, ask people things like ‘Did you have some good sex last night?’, ‘Don’t you think it’s time you maybe went on a diet?’.

50. Pinch your nose and say ‘Eww, can you smell that?’, ‘No, what is it?’…’Oh, wait it’s just your aftershave/perfume’.